> initializing...
>
> I fix the problems other developers can't.
>
> Your team has been staring at a critical bug for a week.
> Your "experts" have failed. Your revenue is bleeding.
>
> You are here because you are out of options.
>
> This is not a consultation. This is not a partnership.
> This is a transaction.
>
> THE SERVICE:
> I will diagnose and fix your single, most critical business-breaking issue.
> Flat Fee: $1,000 USD.
> Payment required upfront via escrow.
> Non-negotiable.
>
> THE PROCESS:
> 1. You use the form below. You explain the problem in ONE paragraph.
> 2. If I accept, you will receive a payment link for $1,000.
> 3. Once paid, you grant me read-only access to your codebase/repo.
> 4. I deliver the solution within 24 hours.
> 5. You deploy. I disappear.
>
> I do not do calls. I do not do meetings. I do not do "long-term work".
>
> If you need a hand-holder, fuck off. If you need a miracle, fill out the form.
        

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